Welcome to the pub by the gasworks. Staffed by the incompetent and frequented by an assortment of equally feckless dregs of humanity, you could not hope to find a more squalid, run-down, dirty drinking establishment - and that's just how the Guv'nor likes it; a proper British pub.

The Pub Landlord's rules are a pint for the fella and a glass of white wine or fruit based drink for the lady. It might be the 21st century but the landlord's gaff is the last bastion of all things normal. He ain't interested in change. It's just the way things are, and don't you or anybody else go questioning it.